Hotel Quality Indicators

When you stay in a lot of hotels you can get a feel for when the hotel is high priced and nice, or low rent crummy. One of the ways I use to figure out the quality of my hotel is by examining the television remote control device.

The Dump Hotel Room

If you stay in a dump you will notice that the TV remote is bolted to the bedside table.

The Medium Quality Hotel Room

On the remote is a note taped to the device that says: This Remote Will Not Work On Your Home TV.

The Classy Hotel Room

The remote works just the way it does at home.

There are other ways to figure out if your hotel is a good one or one you will remember in nightmares for the rest of your life. One way is by reading the hotel signs.

Scary Hotel

Emergency sign: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Elevator sign: Do not enter the elevator backwards, and only when lit up.

Lousy Hotel Indicator

Finally, a powerful way to figure out if your hotel is a sleazy blow-hole is by calling down and talking to the desk clerk.

Questionable Hotel Warning



When Dumb Concierge says: Take one of our horse-driven tours — we guarantee no miscarriages.