Rules
The Glass Cleaning Rule:
The smudge is on the other side.
The Toast Dropping Rule:
It falls butter-side-down. Always.
The Meatball Dropping Rule:
The rug will be egg-shell white.
The Grocery Store Line Rule:
The other line is faster.
The Switching Check-out Line Rule:
The fast line will stop.
The slow line will get faster.
The Umbrella Rule:
If you’re in the car, it’s in the office.
If you’re in the office, it’s in the car.
The Street Map Folding Rule:
Can’t be done.
The Elevator Button Rule:
Always push the button yourself,
because no one on earth (but you)
knows how to punch a button
properly.
The Elevator Button Corollary:
An illuminated button is not proof
that the button has been punched,
so punch it repeatedly.
The Hot Pizza Cheese Rule:
The temperature of the cheese
is directly linked to your eagerness
to take that first bite.
The Television Remote Rule:
If you have the remote-
nothing looks good.
If someone else has the remote-
everything looks good to you
and boring to the other person.
The TV Remote Tenet:
If you need it fast,
it can’t be found, or,
if you find it,
the batteries will be dead.
The Replacement Battery Rule:
You will always have every size
of back-up battery
except the size that fits
your television remote.
Article submitted Monday, July 06, 2009 & read 3955 times.
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